英文简历中不该出现的话

致命的大错
　　"Finished 8th in my high school graduating cla  of 10."
　　"Qualificatio : No education or experience."
　　"I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a pu y."
　　"My compe ation should be at least equal to my age."
　　"Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC."
　　"Fired because I fought for lower pay."
　　"Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 6'5" .
　　" "Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date."
　　"Reason for Leaving: My bo  said the end of the world is near."
　　"Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word 'paranoia.' I prefer to elaborate privately."
　　打字错误与语法错误
　　"Here are my qualificatio  for you to overlook."
　　"Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."
　　"I am a rabid typist."
　　"Work History: Performed brain wave tests,1879-1981."
　　"After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to pursue a new line of work."
　　"Accounting cleric."
　　"As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing investments."
　　"Su ected to graduate early next year."
　　"Di osed of $2.5 billion in a ets."
　　"Proven ability to track down and correct erors."
　　"Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."
　　"Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."
　　"Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school."
　　不应有的幽默
　　"Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house."
　　"A isted in daily preparation of large quantities of co umable items in a fast-paced setting." (Tra lation: Short-order cook.)
　　"But wait...there's more. You get all this busine  knowledge plus a gra  of marketing that is second nature."
　　"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."
　　"My fortune cookie said, 'Your next interview will result in a job'-and I like your company in particular."
　　"Title: Another resume from the 'Profiles in Excellence' series."
　　"Also Known As: Mr. Productivity, Mr. Clever, Mr.Fix-it."
　　"Trustworthy references available upon request-if I give them a few bucks."
　　"Let's meet so you can 'ooh' and 'ahh' over my experience."